Candid Shot
by piratewench78
Summary: One candid shot on Maddie's special day causes everyone to think about how far they've come. Future fic.
1. Maddie's Wedding

_**A/N: So I couldn't shake the writing bug after all, plus I had this overwhelming need to write something fun and fluffy for a change, with a touch of drama here and there.**_

_**It's Maddie's wedding day. One candid picture, taken in the brides' room before the ceremony, becomes a treasured family moment. I'm starting this with what happens, then subsequent chapters will look at it from future individual perspectives of all the participants.**_

Rayna thought Maddie was so beautiful, it took her breath away. She didn't want to cry and ruin her makeup, but she thought it was probably inevitable. Maddie's dress was perfection. It was a beautiful strapless column dress that seemed to just slide down her tall, slender body. Her hair was pulled back into a loose bun, with wispy tendrils framing her face. Her smile was huge. She looked so happy and Rayna was happy for her.

Rayna took her daughter's hand and placed a pair of diamond earrings in her palm. "This is something borrowed," she said. "Your dad gave me these earrings a long time ago and I want you to wear them today."

Maddie gasped. "Oh, Mom, thank you. I've always loved these. I had no idea Dad had given them to you." She put them in, then turned to look in the mirror, turning this way and that, admiring them. "Perfect!" she exclaimed.

Rayna took her hand and smiled at her. "I'm so happy for you, baby," she said. She winked. "I still wish you were a little older, but I guess you've never waited for anything."

Maddie lowered her eyebrows, but she was smiling. "I _am_ twenty-one, Mom. So not _that_ young."

"You're younger than I was."

"When has she ever listened to you, Mom?" Daphne said, with a smile.

Maddie scrunched up her face, but then she laughed. "You aren't any better, Daph."

Rayna reached out and took Maddie's hand in her left and Daphne's hand in her right. "I'm so proud of both of you," she said, a little wistfully. "And you're both so beautiful today." Daphne was wearing a pretty lavender cocktail dress, as her older sister's bridesmaid. Her shoulder length blonde hair was falling softly across her shoulders, held back on one side by a small clip of baby's breath.

Maddie looked around with concern. "Where's Sadie?" she asked.

"Your dad has her. And she's probably getting into some kind of trouble," Rayna said with an indulgent smile. "She is definitely the hardest child to control."

"More than Daphne was?" Maddie smiled playfully.

"Hey!" Daphne cried, with a frown.

Just then a tiny girl ran into the room, her brunette hair a mess and the bow on her dress untied and flying out behind her, a scraggly bunch of flowers in her hand. Rayna thought she detected a smudge of dirt, or something, on her face. "Mama!" she cried and ran straight for Rayna. Rayna turned and reached down quickly, grabbing her by the hands, in case they were dirty too.

"Sadie!" she said firmly. "What have you been doing?"

The little girl threw back her head and laughed with glee. "Swinging!" she cried.

"Are you sure that's all?"

Sadie looked up at her with those familiar puppy dog eyes. "Yes, that's it," she declared.

"No, that's not it," came the voice from the doorway. Rayna looked up to see her husband walk in, with an exasperated look on his face. "She had to pick flowers too."

Sadie turned around and gave him her sweetest smile. "But, Daddy, the flowers are for Maddie," she said, with a little sideways curtsy. Then she turned to hand her sister the small bunch of flowers. Daphne snatched them before Maddie could get them. "Hey!" Sadie cried, with a stomp of her foot. "Those aren't for you."

Deacon walked over quickly and grabbed her up in his arms. "Maddie already has flowers," he said into her ear.

Rayna walked over and put one hand on Deacon's arm and the other she used to push back her youngest daughter's unruly hair. "Sadie Faith Claybourne, I declare. You are a mess!" But then she smiled and leaned in to kiss her daughter on her lips.

Deacon sighed. "I'm sorry, Ray. I'm just too old to chase a five year-old around."

Rayna smiled at him and kissed him on the lips. "I think you do a great job, babe. And you're not too old."

Deacon reached around and grabbed her by the waist. "Maybe I'm just tired then," he said with a smile. "We have one getting married, one starting kindergarten, and one driving on her own. Isn't that like too many major life events at once?" He leaned in to kiss her again, with a little more intensity.

"Hey!" Daphne called out. "We're here in the room too, y'all." She gave Deacon and her mom a stern stare. They looked back at her, Rayna blushing slightly and Deacon giving her a broad grin.

"Y'all are just the most embarrassing parents ever," Maddie said, but she had an indulgent smile on her face. "Poor Sadie."

Deacon looked over at his oldest daughter and felt the tears coming. He swiped them away with his free hand, because he knew Maddie didn't want him to cry. _If you cry, I'll cry, so please don't_, she'd told him that morning. She was so beautiful and he loved her so much. He didn't know how he could possibly give her away, even though he thought Jake Reaves was perfect for her. He felt like he hadn't had her long enough, they hadn't had enough time to be a father and a daughter, and now she was going off to be another man's wife.

Rayna glanced at him and saw the struggle in his face. _Dirt be damned_, she thought, and reached for Sadie. He needed some time with his other daughter. Deacon looked at her. "I'll take her and get her cleaned up and ready to go," she said quietly. He nodded. "Let's go, Sadie bug. We don't have much time to get you ready for the wedding," she whispered to her youngest daughter. Sadie wrapped her arms around Rayna's neck and kissed her on the cheek, as Rayna walked out of the brides' room with her.

Maddie watched Deacon walk towards her and she saw his red eyes and thought she detected a slight quiver in his lips. She frowned and shook her head, holding her palm up. "Don't. I told you that if you cry, I'll cry, and I don't want to cry today. I'm happy."

Deacon rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath, then fixed a smile on his face. "I'm gonna do my best," he said. His chest felt tight. He considered how different this was from the day he'd married Rayna. That day he'd been happy, just like his daughter said she was today. He hadn't felt like crying at all, he just wanted to laugh and shout out to the world how over the moon happy he was. He finally was marrying the only woman he'd ever loved, after almost twenty-five years, and he couldn't wipe the smile off his face that entire day. So he knew how Maddie felt today. But _he_ was a mess.

That morning, as they were getting ready, he'd had to sit down and put his face in his hands. Rayna had come to sit next to him, putting her arm around him and laying her head on his shoulder while he'd cried. "I didn't have enough time with her," he'd said, and then felt bad when he saw the sad look on his wife's face. "I just mean that she's so young. You know, as long as I've known her she's always been in such a hurry to grow up and now she is. And it's just too soon."

Rayna had smiled at him. "We still have Daphne. And Sadie. You have lots of time to be a dad."

He'd pulled her into his arms then and kissed her hard. And that, of course, had led to a little detour in getting ready for the wedding. That made him smile, thinking about Rayna trying, and failing, not to mess up her hair, and it helped him get past his desire to cry over Maddie.

Just then, the door opened and Deacon turned to see Teddy and his wife, Katharine, come in the room. Teddy's face lit up when he spied Maddie and Katharine hurried over to grab Maddie by the hands. "Oh, Maddie, you look so beautiful!" she cried.

Maddie leaned down to hug her stepmother. "Thank you," she said warmly. Then she spread her arms out to take in Teddy, who was still grinning broadly. "Hey, Dad," she said.

Teddy hugged her back. "You look so beautiful, sweetheart," he said. And she did. She had turned into a stunningly beautiful young woman, not surprisingly. He had always known that she looked like Deacon, but she had enough of Rayna in her that it made for a lovely combination as she got older. "I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you, Dad." Maddie smiled. It wasn't often that both her dads were in the same room at the same time and she wondered sometimes how they felt about her calling them both "Dad". Teddy had always been "Dad", of course, since he had raised her from birth. It would have felt wrong not to still acknowledge that. It had taken some time before she'd felt comfortable calling Deacon "Dad". He'd just been "Deacon" or "Uncle Deacon" for all her life, and finding out he was her biological father had taken some getting used to. But after she'd called him "Dad" for the first time, it seemed to feel natural to keep doing it. Sometimes she had to explain which dad she was referring to, but when they were together, there was still a small tad of discomfort.

Teddy glanced over at Deacon. His face was neutral, although his eyes carried that faint sadness they always seemed to when they crossed paths. He gave him a brief smile and a nod and Deacon nodded in return. And that was it. Maddie had asked them both to walk her down the aisle and they had agreed. They had come to an unspoken truce over time. As Maddie's relationship with Deacon had developed, Teddy had had to come to terms with that. He had fought it for a long time, but finally realized he had no choice but to accept it. Then when Deacon had shown Daphne compassion when she had struggled with Rayna's pregnancy, Teddy had dropped his animosity. It would never be easy, but at least now it seemed they could both acknowledge the love they had for both girls, and that it was no longer a contest.

Deacon didn't think he and Teddy would ever be able to come together for Maddie. He knew that Teddy had always hated him, but he'd always thought it was just because he suspected Rayna still loved him. When he'd found out he was Maddie's father, he'd realized that it went deeper than that. He'd always thought of Teddy as smug and arrogant. And he still thought that, but he knew Maddie and Daphne both loved him and, because of that, he was willing to put aside his own feelings. It had definitely made things easier.

He heard skipping in the hallway and unconsciously he smiled. When he turned his head, he saw Sadie skip into the room, her bow tied, her hair restored to order, and her face clean. Rayna followed and he smiled even more as he considered how beautiful she still was, after three children and a high-powered career. She wasn't touring much anymore, concentrating on her growing label, enjoying the development of new talent. Which was fine with him, because it kept her home and in his bed a lot more.

"Uncle Teddy! Auntie Kay!" Sadie shrieked when she saw them and she raced over to throw herself at them. Deacon shook his head in amazement. Teddy and Katharine had fallen totally in love with Sadie, which had been a big surprise. He had to admit that it was probably good that they had, considering the fact that Sadie liked to tag along behind her big sisters.

Rayna came over and leaned into him, kissing him softly on the cheek. "Hey there, handsome," she said with a teasing smile.

He turned to look at her and kissed her on the mouth. "Hey yourself, gorgeous." He reached his arm around her waist and pulled her even closer. "You know you're outshining the bride," he whispered. She smiled and blushed a little.

"Hey, everybody!" Maddie called out.

Teddy put his arms around the waists of his wife and Daphne and they all turned to smile at Maddie. Rayna stepped in front of Deacon and leaned back against his chest. She looked over and gestured for Sadie to come stand with her and, when she did, took her hand.

"I'm so happy we're all here together today," Maddie said. "You're the people that are most important to me. Well, except for Jake, of course." Everyone laughed. She turned to look at Deacon. "Thank you, Dad," then turned to Teddy, "and Dad, for walking down the aisle with me. That means more than you'll know."

Rayna could hear Deacon sniff and she smiled, knowing how special this was for him. Sadie pulled her hand away and started to walk off. Rayna watched her for a moment until she saw her stop and gaze up at Maddie. She turned back to look at her oldest daughter.

Maddie took a deep breath. She was so excited to start her new life, but it was so special to have all these people with her right now. She looked first at her parents. She'd had almost seven years to watch them together and every single day she had felt blessed to be a part of that family. They had truly shown her what love and marriage were all about.

She looked down at Sadie and smiled at her little sister, who smiled back at her, scrunching up her face, turning this way and that. As much as she had distanced herself from her mother before Sadie was born, the feeling of having missed out filling her up with hurt, once Sadie had arrived, it was all forgotten. Sadie had been an amazing gift.

Finally she looked at Teddy, the dad who'd raised her. She felt lucky that he had embraced her as his own from the moment she was born. And although they'd had their own struggles, she was glad to have him in her life. And of course, there was Daphne, her partner-in-crime. It had always felt like the two of them against the world. She couldn't imagine her life without her. Last of all, there was Katharine, her stepmother. Peggy hadn't been in their lives for very long when she was killed, but she had never had the same place in their hearts that Katharine did. Maddie was happy for her father that he had found such a perfect partner.

And now she would be starting her own life with her soul mate. She knew that her parents – _all_ her parents – wished she'd been a little older and had experienced a little more before settling down, but she knew it was right. She couldn't wait.

* * *

The photographer approached the brides' room. As he walked in, he was struck by the scene that was in front of him. The bride front and center, with her family looking up at her. So he quickly pulled up his camera, adjusted the lens, and took the shot.


	2. Katharine

Katharine

I came late to this family. And, in all its convoluted trails, this is, in fact, a family.

I was smitten with Teddy Conrad the moment I met him at a State dinner at the White House, not long after he'd come to Washington as the junior senator from Tennessee. He was boyishly handsome, with a quick smile that would cause his eyes to crinkle merrily. He had an ease about him that seemed unusual for someone who was not a DC insider. We were seated at the same table and hit it off immediately. By the end of the evening, he had asked me out on a date.

We took things slow, though, which was alternately sweet and frustrating. Frustrating, in that I already knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Sweet, in that he wanted to be sure that his daughters were comfortable with our relationship.

He had explained to me about his marriage to and divorce from Rayna Jaymes, a country music singer back in Nashville, and the mother of his two daughters. He also told me about his second wife, Peggy, and her death. It was some time after I had met his girls and gotten to know them a bit, that he told me the story of Maddie. It had endeared him to me all the more to know that he had wholeheartedly welcomed that girl into his life and his heart when she was born, even though he was not her biological father. And I felt sad for him as I'd listened to him talk about the difficult time he'd had accepting her desire to bond with her biological father.

I loved Maddie and Daphne instantly and had enjoyed getting to know them. By the time Teddy and I finally did get married, they had accepted me into their lives and we were great friends. And that, more than anything, had pleased Teddy.

One of the things I loved most about the girls was when, after Teddy had asked me to marry him, I found out that he had first asked Maddie and Daphne for their blessing. And then they both came to me, separately, and talked to me about how much they loved him, about how they'd felt about their parents' divorce, about Teddy's marriage to Peggy, and Rayna's marriage to Deacon. They both gave me their blessing to become part of the Conrad family, entrusting me to love their dad the way they felt he deserved.

We didn't get to Nashville often, although whenever he went there I went with him. I was a lawyer in a DC firm with a busy practice. I went to other places in Tennessee with my husband when I could, but usually he went without me and we caught up with racy phone calls at night. But when Maddie got married, it had been a special occasion, and I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

Maddie was a beautiful bride and her new husband, Jake, was breathtakingly handsome. They were the perfect couple, the heir apparents as country royalty, I was told. Daphne, as her bridesmaid, was stunning. She was growing up to be a very lovely young lady. Both girls had amazing singing voices and Maddie had already started her performing career, in the footsteps of her parents, Rayna Jaymes and Deacon Claybourne. Daphne was still in high school, but I knew she'd be stepping out herself before long.

And then there was Sadie. Rayna and Deacon's five year-old. A bit of a surprise for them, I thought, but they were clearly head over heels in love with her. As was everyone else. I remember when I first met her, as a toddler, and I swear it was the only time my ovaries ever ached. Between her soft wavy dark brown hair, her crystal clear blue eyes, her little bow mouth and her outsized personality, she was enchanting. And after the first time I met her, every time Teddy went to Nashville, I went too, just to get my hands on that precious girl.

Maddie sent an email about six weeks after the wedding with the link to the wedding pictures. _Dad/Katharine, Here they are! I think they turned out so well. It'll be hard to pick the ones to keep. My favorite is a candid shot of all of us in the brides' room. I think you will love it as well. Love you both so much, Maddie._

I scrolled through the pictures as I waited for Teddy. He had a late vote and I had actually beaten him home. Maddie had understated things, as usual. The pictures were stunning. She looked radiant and I felt as proud as if she were my own. And then I found the one she referenced.

Maddie was the intended focus of the picture, standing on the little riser in her wedding gown. She was looking over at Teddy, Daphne and me. Deacon and Rayna were standing together, in profile, Rayna leaning into him, Deacon's hands gripping her arms protectively. But what made the picture, of course, was Sadie. She actually _became_ the focus as she stood with her hands on her hips, leaning to her left, her eyes closed as she mugged for the camera. I couldn't help but laugh out loud.

* * *

I had never been a fan of country music so, when I met Teddy, I scarcely knew who Rayna Jaymes was. I mean, I knew the name, like I knew Reba McIntyre or Dolly Parton or Shania Twain, but I knew nothing about her until I met Teddy. Teddy was careful in what he said about her to me, so when things got serious between us, I spent an afternoon Googling her. I found lots of information about her career and her rise to stardom, her complicated but not well-documented early relationship with Deacon Claybourne as well as his struggle with alcoholism, her marriage to Teddy and the disclosure that they were already expecting a baby at the time. There were stories about her during the time that Teddy ran for mayor of Nashville. About the death of her father and starting her label. Stories about her relationship with another country singer, Luke Wheeler, that culminated in a public proposal and a fairly swift end to the relationship. Her subsequent marriage to Deacon and the rise of her label. And, of course, that awful accident where she nearly died and Deacon had been briefly jailed, and the whole revelation that Deacon was Maddie's father.

Teddy and I didn't talk much about that, but I knew that he had eventually made peace with it, and that he and Maddie had a good, loving relationship. On the occasions that I saw Maddie and Deacon together, I would find myself watching them and I was strangely comforted to see that she had a very loving, healthy relationship with him as well. I actually liked Deacon a lot, something I didn't share with Teddy, because of the history, and I was glad he was a good father. I think, privately, Teddy was glad as well.

Rayna was a bit wary of me in the beginning, I think. Maybe because of Peggy, maybe because it meant another stepmother for the girls. But we were eventually able to forge a good relationship and I think she finally accepted me into her big, extended family when she saw me cuddled up with Sadie. Sadie truly was the one who brought everyone together and kind of broke those walls down.

* * *

Looking at that picture and Sadie's big goofy grin made me smile all over again.


	3. Teddy

Teddy

I got out of the town car and ran up the steps to the brownstone. One of the perks of being the junior senator from Tennessee was having a car and driver so I didn't have to put up with that heinous DC traffic. We'd had a late vote, so I was home a lot later than usual. Katharine had drinks ready, a dirty martini for her and a tumbler of Tennessee whiskey for me.

Being in DC had been good to me in a lot of ways. First and foremost, I was doing good work. I was energized in a way I hadn't been in years. But maybe more importantly, it had separated me from the mess I'd made of my life since the day I told Rayna Jaymes I'd marry her and be a father to her baby.

With all apologies to my daughters, in particular Daphne, marrying Rayna had probably been one of the worst decisions of my life. I spent all those years loving a woman who was in love with another man. She tried her best to make it work and we did have some very good years together, but we can both now acknowledge our mistakes. The one amazing thing that came from it was Daphne, and I'll never regret that. And getting to be Maddie's father.

But now I could see what I'd really missed in my life. Being truly loved, and loving in return, was the ultimate gift.

I had won the lottery when I met Katharine. Not only was she beautiful, but she was smart and fun to be with. She was as different from Rayna and Peggy as she could be. There was no drama with Katharine, no old lover to compete with. And no secrets. I had known right away that she was my true soul mate, but I made sure to do things right this time around. I made sure that Maddie and Daphne got to know her first, and that they all would get along. Then I took her to Nashville, so that she'd know where I came from. I introduced her to Rayna and it was kind of fun watching the two women size each other up. It helped that Katharine had no ties to Nashville and no hidden agendas.

So, for me, the third time really was the charm. I smiled at my wife as I took the whiskey.

"Maddie sent the link to the wedding pictures," she said after she kissed me. "They're excellent. She looks so beautiful."

I smiled. "She did, didn't she? And so happy. I hope she's always that happy."

"Me too. Look, I've got a brief I absolutely have to look over, so why don't you take a look at them and then we can eat."

I smiled at my beautiful wife. "Sounds good." I sat at the desk. Katharine had left up the email from Maddie and I clicked on the link.

* * *

When I got to the last picture, it was a candid shot. Maddie was standing in the brides' room, looking at me, with my arms around Daphne and Katharine. Deacon and Rayna were standing on the other side, Rayna leaning back into Deacon and he had his hands on her arms. I could see that soft look Rayna always had every time she ever looked at or thought about Deacon Claybourne.

I frowned, thinking about how she had pined after him almost the whole time we were married. But then I shook my head. It didn't matter anymore.

Then I smiled. Sadie Claybourne was mugging for the camera. In spite of myself, I couldn't help but love that little girl. She looked like Maddie, but had Daphne's personality. She was sure a handful. I was also glad she was Deacon and Rayna's handful.

I remembered when Maddie and Daphne had told me their mother was pregnant again. My first thought, I have to be honest, was that Rayna and Deacon were still all over each other like rabbits. Neither of the girls were excited, although I counseled them to not be obvious about it. I knew that Maddie was bothered by it because Deacon was her father too. She had worked through all her issues about that revelation except for the fact that he hadn't been there when she was born. I knew that Deacon being there for this one made her a little jealous and hurt. I was actually surprised at Daphne's reaction though. She was usually a ball of positivity and I was sure she'd be thrilled not to be the baby anymore, but she was oddly unemotional about it. She even asked to come and live with me that summer before Sadie was born. Rayna had been completely against it and she and Daphne had fought bitterly about it. As it happened, it was Deacon who finally convinced her to let Daphne do it.

That was kind of the beginning of Deacon and me finally making peace with each other about Maddie. We'll never be friends, of course, but by then I had seen that he was committed to being a good, and present, parent for our daughter. And I did, and do, still consider Maddie to be my daughter. He was also a good stepfather to Daphne and, as much as I hated to admit it, I could see that he loved her the way I loved Maddie, the way that said blood didn't always matter.

So Daphne lived with me that last summer I lived in Nashville. She never really talked to me about what bothered her so much, but I think it was important for her then to be the only child in the house. It certainly strengthened our bond and I think it helped her navigate whatever confusion she was feeling with all the complicated relationships in her life. When Rayna called to tell her that she was on her way to the hospital, I think Daphne was ready to embrace all of that again. When Deacon put Sadie in her arms, I could tell that she was truly happy again and I was happy for her.

When Sadie started talking, she would ask Maddie and Daphne who I was. They would tell her I was Dad, but not her dad. Which was confusing for a little girl. Daphne was the one who asked me if Sadie could call me "Uncle Teddy". I was hesitant at first, because it brought back the memories of having to deal with "Uncle Deacon" all those years, but I reminded myself that was over. So I became Uncle Teddy and, when I married Katharine, she became Auntie Kay.

"What did you think?" I looked up at my wife's question, a little disoriented from my musings. I smiled at Katharine. "Aren't they great? I'd love to have a couple. Especially the one of you and me with the girls."

I nodded. "That would be nice to have." I chuckled. "I'd kind of like to have this one too."

Katharine walked around to see the candid shot. She laughed. "Oh, I love that one. It's definitely one of those great family moments. I do wonder what Sadie will think when she's older and sees that."

I clicked out of the site and stood up, pulling Katharine close and kissing her. "She'll think, just like the rest of us, that she's part of a great family."


	4. Daphne

Daphne

My phone vibrated. When I looked at it, it was my sister Maddie's face. I hit accept. "Hey, Maddie!"

"Hey, Daphne. How are you?"

"I'm great. _Where_ are you?"

"I'm in…." She dragged it out while she thought. "St. Louis. Yeah, St. Louis." She sighed. "And Jake's in Chicago. But the good news is, his tour's almost over, so he'll hook up with me in…somewhere." She giggled.

"How can you stand it, being away from him, when you're a newlywed?"

"It sucks. It really sucks. That's something Mom didn't really tell me." She paused. "Do you think she missed Dad like I miss Jake?"

I thought about that. "Maybe." The thought crossed my mind that Deacon was with her then, that whenever she was away from us, Deacon was there. I loved Deacon, still love Deacon, but that was _my_ dad Mom left behind. So complicated.

"Well, anyway," Maddie said, interrupting my thoughts, "I got the link to the wedding pictures today, so I'm going to send it to you. I think they turned out really well. You look beautiful, by the way."

"Well, duh." I smiled. Since I was her only bridesmaid, I got to pick out my dress, so I did pick out something that was flattering. "I can't wait to see them."

"I'll have to decide which ones I want for an album, but you can pick out ones you like and order them too." She laughed. "There's a great one in there of Sadie."

"When she was all messy, after she'd been picking flowers?" I smiled as I thought of how she'd run in the room, a complete mess, and gone straight for Mom, grubby hands and all. Poor Deacon. He couldn't keep up with her.

"No, it was after that. But we're all in the brides' room before the ceremony and I guess the photographer just snapped a candid shot. The only one looking at the camera was Sadie, though. And she was definitely yucking it up."

"I can't wait to see it."

* * *

It turned out to be one of the highlights of all the pictures. It really was a nice shot and it sure showed off our baby sister in character. Looking at her, I wanted to run find her and kiss her all over her precious goofy little face. I hadn't really expected it, but Sadie was the one that pulled me out of my funk and brought me back into this family.

I remember when Mom told Maddie and me that she was pregnant. It was sort of a kick in the gut for me. I'd kept quiet for a long time about how I was feeling about everything, but finding out that Mom and Deacon were having another baby together really made me feel like I was on the outside looking in. Even Maddie couldn't make me feel better, and she sure did try.

I was ten when my parents got divorced. It had been an awful time. I remember when they told us they were splitting up. I was so surprised, but Maddie wasn't. She wouldn't tell me why, but not too long ago Dad told me that it was because of Peggy. Maddie and I stayed living in our house and Mom and Dad alternated weeks with us. It was sort of weird, but okay. But then Mom and Deacon were in that accident and Mom was in the hospital and almost died. That was probably the scariest thing I've ever been through. Dad moved back in with us when Mom was in the hospital and stayed after she got home, so I was hoping they would get back together. But I heard Mom tell Dad one night that he needed to leave and that made me realize it was really over.

Maddie had found out by then that Deacon was really her dad, which was pretty confusing at first. Plus she was kind of a brat to everyone, including me. So much drama! When she posted her video online and called herself Maddie Claybourne, I thought she'd get in a lot more trouble than she did and, to tell the truth, I was a little annoyed that she didn't. Back then it felt like the whole world revolved around Maddie and I got kind of lost in the shuffle.

I sort of thought that things would settle down when Mom finally decided to marry Deacon. She had been dating Luke Wheeler, who I thought at first was really cool. But I don't think he really loved Mom the way Deacon does and he asked her to marry him without even talking to Maddie and me about it. I still think that was wrong. He asked her in front of us and it was awful. I remember Dad holding me until I fell asleep that night because I couldn't stop crying. Maddie and I were both happy when Mom broke up with Luke.

When she and Deacon got married, though, Mom said something about Deacon being the love of her life and the person she'd always dreamed of being with and it really made me feel kind of bad. Did she not ever love Dad? Was Maddie her favorite because she was Deacon's daughter? I was really confused and I didn't know how to ask her about it, so I didn't.

* * *

Maddie and I still spent every other week with Dad. I think there were times when Maddie would have liked to spend less time there. I kind of understood that. I mean, Deacon and Mom were her real parents, so it was natural that she'd want to be a part of that little family unit. But selfishly I was glad that she didn't. I think she did it for our Dad, because he would have been hurt if she'd stopped coming over. But it meant that we were together and I just felt like I needed her more. Her and Dad.

When Mom got pregnant, Maddie seemed more willing to spend the whole week at Dad's. She told me that it felt awkward, watching how Deacon was so into Mom's pregnancy, knowing it was so different from her experience. Most of the time, I think Maddie loved Dad and Deacon pretty much the same, just differently. But while Mom was pregnant, I think it made Maddie sad. And it made her cling to Dad a little more because, after all, he was there all that time.

It wasn't just awkward for Maddie though. I'd see Deacon rub Mom's belly or talk to it and it just felt so weird. I kept thinking about Mom loving Deacon the whole time she was married to Dad, even while she was pregnant with me, I guess. I wondered if Dad had known that and it made me sad for him and I think I felt a little more protective of him.

After a while, I was really feeling left out. Deacon was spending a lot more time with Maddie and he was so focused on Mom and the baby. I asked Dad to take me out to dinner one night and that's when I told him I wanted to move in with him.

"Daphne, you know I'd love to have you live with me," he'd said, "but your mom would have to agree and I'm just not sure she would. Especially with the baby coming and all."

"But that's why I want to," I said, pouting. "With the new baby, there's no room for me. It's Mom and Deacon and Maddie and the new baby. _They're_ the family. _They_ all belong to each other. I'm not one of them."

Dad had smiled, trying to cheer me up. "Of course you're part of them. Mom is your mom and Maddie's your sister. And, uh, Deacon loves you too."

"Dad, please. I need some space. And I want to be with you."

In the end, he'd agreed to support me. Mom, of course, said no right away and when she realized I wasn't going to let it go, she cried. Maddie did too, and that almost swayed me. But it turned out to be Deacon that really understood. He told me that they would miss me and wished I would stay, but if that was what I wanted to do, he'd get Mom to agree. And he did. He even got her to agree that I would only come back every other weekend. It was tough watching how hard she cried when Dad came to get me. She hugged me so tight and she got my hair wet with all her crying. I got a lump in my throat and my chest hurt as I watched in the side mirror as Dad drove off. Deacon had his arms around Mom and she was sobbing, I could tell.

When I went back on weekends, Mom was always so bubbly and over-the-top. I knew she was trying so hard and it was tough not to just give in and stay. She always cried when Dad came to get me and it would always take me a day or so to get over that pain. I hated hurting her, because I loved her so much, but it was good being with Dad, and away from all the focus on the baby.

* * *

The day Sadie was born was a miserably hot early August day. Dad and I were at the Frothy Monkey and I was having an iced cappuccino. School would be starting soon, so it was nice to be able to be lazy. Dad was in campaign mode since he was running for the Senate, but he had taken the afternoon off to spend with me.

"What's on the agenda for the weekend?" he asked.

It was my weekend to spend at Mom's. Now that it was getting closer to when the baby would be born, I was even less enthusiastic about going over. Every time I was there, seeing Mom so pregnant and working on baby things, had torn my heart up a little more. She and Deacon were ridiculously moony over each other and all that did was make me sad for Dad and wonder about my own place. So I rolled my eyes. "I'm sure we'll talk about the baby and Mom will want to show me all the stuff she's gotten, and I'll have to listen to her complain about being fat or hot, or fat _and_ hot."

Dad gave me a look and a small smile. "Daphne, remember what I told you," he said. "She was the same way with you and Maddie. She's just excited and happy."

"Whatever."

"Daphne, this baby is going to be your sister too."

"_Half_-sister," I reminded him.

He shook his head. "I think you'll change your mind. You don't think of Maddie that way."

I shrugged and sipped on my drink. Just then my phone buzzed. I looked at it. Mom. I almost let it go to voice mail, but I answered. "Hey, Mom," I said, with a sigh.

"Daphne!" Mom cried, sounding a little odd and breathless. I waited. I could hear her breathe out slowly. "Daphne," she said again, her voice more normal. "We're on our way to the hospital."

I frowned. "Why? What happened?"

She laughed. "The baby's coming," she said.

"What? But I thought it was a few more weeks."

"She's like you. She wants to come early. So, can your dad bring you to meet us at the hospital?" She paused. "Do you want to come?" Her voice sounded sad for a second.

I felt a pit in my stomach and my heart hurt. "Of course I want to come," I said. I heard her make a noise like she was choking back tears. "We'll come now." I could hear Deacon asking her in a panicky voice if she was okay and that made me feel panicky. I didn't realize she could be in pain, for some reason.

I heard Deacon ask for the phone and, after a moment, Mom said no. "I'm sorry, Daphne, I'm back," she said. "You can meet Maddie in the waiting room." She laughed again. "It won't be long now, so you won't have to wait long. I love you, baby girl. I can't wait to see you." And she hung up.

I stood up and so did Dad. "She's going to the hospital." I took a breath. "She sounded like she was in pain."

Dad nodded. "She's probably having contractions. And she told me, in no uncertain terms, that they were very painful. So, yeah." He smiled. "She's in pain. Let's go then."

* * *

It was maybe thirty minutes after we got there that a nurse came out and said we could go in. Maddie and I hurried down the hall, Dad following us.

When we went in the room, we could see Mom holding the baby and Deacon hovering next to her. Mom was all sweaty, with her hair pulled back in a ponytail, and her face was kind of flushed, but when she looked up and saw us, she smiled. She looked so happy. "Come see your baby sister," she said. Maddie and I walked over and stood on either side of her, Deacon putting his arm around Maddie. Mom put the baby on her legs, so we could both see her. She was so tiny, with little tufts of dark hair and a little bowtie mouth. "Maddie and Daphne, meet Sadie Faith," she said proudly. "Your absolutely perfect baby sister."

Sadie opened her eyes just then and yawned, stretching her little hands and arms above her head. She looked up at me first and then Maddie. I fell in love with my sister at that very moment. And I knew right then I wanted nothing more than to be with her every day.

* * *

I moved back home the next day and was waiting with Maddie and Aunt Tandy when Deacon brought Mom and Sadie home from the hospital. _Two arms around me, heaven to ground me, and a family that always calls me home._


	5. Maddie

Tomorrow is my first anniversary. It makes me a little giddy to think about that. I know my parents thought I was too young to get married, but I reminded Mom that she had fallen in love when she was sixteen, so she couldn't say too much. Jake is the love of my life the way that Dad is the love of hers. We both worked out our tour breaks so that we could celebrate our anniversary in Nashville. Mom and Dad are hosting a little get together for us tonight, just family. Jake says he has something special planned for tomorrow. Swoon!

While I'm waiting for him to come home from the studio, I pulled out the wedding album. I love looking at the pictures and can't wait for us to have kids so I can share the album with them. The pictures are such a perfect representation of our perfect day. I can't help but smile from ear to ear as I look at all of them. The last picture in the album is the candid shot the photographer took in the brides' room right before the wedding started and my two dads walked me down the aisle. I remember the photographer apologized for not realizing what Sadie was doing until after he'd taken the picture, but he had thought it was such a nice shot, he'd saved it for me.

Sadie is my little sister, six years old now. My parents weren't planning to have another baby after they got married, but I think they were always a little excited that it happened. Daphne and me, though, not so much. I'm not sure I understand why Daphne was so upset about it. She never really talked to me about it, and after Sadie was born, it didn't matter anymore, because we both just loved her so much. I know that I had a hard time because of all the circumstances around when I was born. And seeing Mom pregnant and Dad being able to experience it all just, quite frankly, made me jealous.

My birth dad, Deacon Claybourne, didn't know about me until I was thirteen. And, of course, I didn't know about him either. He's an alcoholic and was in a really bad place when Mom got pregnant with me, so she didn't tell him and married my other dad instead. Teddy Conrad was the only dad I knew for all those years and he always loved me like I was his own. We all went through a lot of turmoil after the truth came out and, I guess, I realized I hadn't totally forgiven my mom when she got pregnant with Sadie. It didn't seem fair that the new baby was going to have Deacon for a dad from the moment she was born. And it really took me until she was born to get completely over it.

* * *

Somehow I thought when Mom married Deacon, that my whole life would be different. After all, Deacon was my real dad and he and Mom were soul mates. And Deacon was cool. So duh, right?

But no. Oh, right, at first it was awesome. Some of that was because it meant Luke was gone. He was okay, I guess, but once he asked Mom to marry him – in front of Daphne and me, with NO warning – things kind of went off the rails. He was a jackass – a word I didn't use back then, but I can now – a total, complete jackass. But not worth spending much time on.

Mom told me, a lot later, that Deacon – Dad – had come by the same night Luke proposed and told her he was ready to be her husband. And that even though she made him wait for her answer, she knew he was her endgame. My word, not hers.

But that day that Mom and Dad sat across from Daphne and me, holding hands and grinning like a couple of school kids, and told us Mom was pregnant, I felt like the honeymoon was over.

* * *

I thought back to the night that my jealousy and anger really came to a head. When I look back on it now, I'm embarrassed at what happened and I feel bad for how much I hurt both my parents. But that night, I was sixteen, and hanging out at my best friend Talia's house. There were no adults there and somehow word got around and a big party broke out. Some of the guys broke out the booze and lots of kids were doing shots and mixing drinks.

My parents had had a number of really serious talks with me about alcohol and reminded me that Dad was an alcoholic and that his father had been one too and that it could happen to me. The few times I'd been around alcohol, I hadn't had a problem avoiding it, but this time was different. I'm not sure exactly why, except that I'd been upset for so long about the baby and I was just tired of seeing my mom pregnant and my dad acting all excited about it. Mom and I had had a fight before I left, so when one of the girls fixed whiskey and Coke, I drank one. And I kind of liked it. But the Coke made it a little too sweet, so I drank a few shots of straight whiskey. I was surprised at how warm it felt going down and, after I got over the initial taste, I actually enjoyed it.

Clearly I drank too much. I was huddled over the toilet in Talia's bathroom when I heard Mom's voice. "Maddie!" I heard her shout. I closed my eyes. Then I heard the footsteps in the bathroom. "Maddie, get up!" She was standing right over me.

I looked up. She was standing there with her hands on her hips, her face all screwed up in a frown. All I could think about was that she had probably stormed through the house, calling all kinds of attention to herself, and not caring. And that she wouldn't care about embarrassing me. I wondered who had called her. She started to lean down and I waved her off. "Okay, okay," I slurred.

I still sat there, though, for a moment, willing my head to stop spinning. Mom grabbed my arm. "Get up, Maddie!" she yelled.

I shook her off and managed to stand, but had to steady myself against the wall. I glared at her. "I'm up," I said.

She grabbed my arm again and pulled me out of the bathroom. "Mom, stop!" I protested. She paid no attention, pulling me out past all my friends. I was vaguely conscious of music playing in the background, but what I remembered was the faces of my friends, either silently watching or smirking. I looked away as she pulled me out of the house.

When we got to the car, she opened the passenger door and pushed me in, then pulled the seat belt over me and fastened it. She slammed the door and I leaned against the cool glass and closed my eyes.

I could feel her get in, slamming her door. I looked at her as she pulled at the seat belt, her face grim, and fastened it. She looked over at me, her face red. "What the hell were you thinking, Maddie?" she asked, her voice deceptively calm.

I shrugged. "I was having a good time," I said.

"Getting drunk? Seriously? I can't believe, after everything we've talked about, that you would do something so stupid as let yourself get drunk."

I looked at her. "I didn't plan to get drunk."

She rolled her eyes. "Of course you didn't. How much did you drink?"

I shrugged. "I don't know."

"What did you have?"

I looked at her. Either she was swaying or I was. "Whiskey," I said.

She drew in a quick breath. "Why whiskey?" she whispered.

"No reason." I smirked. "I liked it though."

She turned away and didn't say another word until we got home. I started to open the door but she grabbed my arm. "Just know that your father is furious. And scared. And hurt. I can't believe you have put us in this position."

She was hurting my arm and I could feel tears, both from the pain and what she'd said about Dad. "I didn't mean to…." I couldn't finish.

"I'm not sure he can even look at you right now, Maddie," Mom said, her face a thundercloud of anger. "I don't think there's anything you could have done that would have disappointed him more." She sighed. "Me either, for that matter."

Mom got out of the car and headed for the house. I trailed behind her, not really wanting to face Dad. When I walked in, I saw him standing by the counter. He glanced at me briefly, then focused on Mom. His face looked so sad that it made me choke up.

"So she _is_ drunk," Mom was saying. "She's grounded for the rest of her life." She turned and looked at me as she said that. "I'll put her to bed."

Dad just nodded, looking like he wanted to cry. I wanted to run to him and tell him I was sorry, but I knew better. He looked at me one last time, so disappointed, and turned to walk off.

Mom walked me upstairs and waited while I changed into my pajamas. She gave me Advil and put a bottled water on my night stand. I crawled into bed, my head pounding and spinning at the same time. She sat on the edge of the bed. "You're going to feel pretty bad tomorrow," she said. "I hope that helps you remember that you don't want to do this again." I turned my face away. "I'm so disappointed in you, Maddie," she said quietly. "Please don't ever do this again." I didn't say anything and finally she got up, turned out the light and walked out, shutting the door behind her.

I rolled over and hugged my pillow to my chest and cried.

* * *

The next morning I woke up because the sun came crashing down around me. I was also conscious of the fact that my head felt like a sledgehammer was beating on it. My mouth felt like it was full of cotton. Foul-tasting cotton. The covers suddenly were pulled off.

"Get up!" It was Dad and I could tell he was angry. I cringed. "Get up, Maddie! Now!"

I opened my eyes and he was standing over me, a furious look on his face. I groaned and rolled over. I could feel him lean on the bed, then grab my arm and pull. "Get up now!" What was up with pulling my arm?

"Why?" I whined into my pillow.

"We're going for a ride."

I looked back at him. "Please, no. Look, I'm sorry, Dad. I'll never do it again, but please…."

"Get out of bed, Maddie," he said, his voice low and steely. I didn't hear him sound like this often, so I rolled over and sat up, my head screaming in agony. I wanted to puke. "Get dressed and brush your teeth."

I got up and did what he said, fighting back tears. Then he took me by the arm – seriously, these two were merciless – and walked me out to his truck. Strangely nobody else was up, I noticed as we walked through the kitchen. He said nothing to me on the drive except when he pulled into McDonald's and ordered me an Egg McMuffin, telling me it was good hangover food.

I ate the sandwich silently and then closed my eyes and leaned back against the seat. I had no idea where we were going. When we finally stopped and Dad turned off the truck, I opened my eyes. The Egg McMuffin did seem to settle my stomach, but I decided not to mention that. It looked like we were in a park, but it was unfamiliar. "Where are we?" I asked.

Dad was silent. I turned to look at him. He was looking out the windshield, his face set, chewing his lip. When he finally started talking, his voice was low and quiet and he still didn't look at me. "Near here is the place where I nearly lost everything that mattered to me. Actually I would have told you that I _did_ lose everything I loved. Everything I'd ever dreamed of having. I lost your mama, I screwed up my career and my reputation, I lost my best friend. Vince was knee walking drunk and killed himself running into a tree not far from here. The only reason I didn't die that night is because I wanted to stay at the bar and keep drinking. Everything that happened after that night caused your mama to give up and walk away." He paused and I could see tears roll down his cheek. "What happened that night cost me the chance to be your daddy from the beginning."

I felt a lump in my throat and tears formed in my eyes. "Dad," I started, but he held his hand up and shook his head firmly.

He started the car and we drove some more. He still wasn't looking at me, so I focused on the highway in front of us. Eventually we got off and drove down streets near 12South. He pulled over again. I looked at the road signs. Granny White Pike and Battlefield Drive. I felt a cold chill.

Again, he was quiet at first. Then he said, "Your mama could have died here. Because of my drinking. I may not have been behind the wheel, but I caused that accident as surely as if I had. This is where I really could have lost everything forever. Because of alcohol. It's really only by the grace of God that I have everything I have today. My family." He turned to look at me then. "I don't ever want you to be in that situation, Maddie. And you know it so easily could happen."

I lowered my head, tears streaming down my face. I felt so awful, disappointing him like this. "I'm sorry, Dad," I cried. "I never meant to do this to you. And Mom. I won't do it again. I wish I never had."

Dad took a deep breath and reached for my hand. When I looked up, his eyes were red and wet with tears. "Maddie, truthfully, I always thought one day you'd try it. You've always pushed boundaries, ever since you were little. You always had to try things for yourself. But I wanted to protect you from this. This was never the legacy I wanted to pass on to you. Just tell me why you did it."

I shrugged. "It was a party. All my friends were there. I don't know, really." I stopped. He looked so sad and hurt. I couldn't tell him about my own hurt. That I felt angry that he'd been such a mess that Mom turned away from him when she found out she was pregnant with me. That I was angry at Mom for never telling him, even after he showed her he could get better. And that I was angry at both of them because Daphne was pulling away and I didn't know why.

If only there wasn't this baby, everything would be fine.

* * *

But then when Sadie came, it had all changed. Daphne came home, I forgave Mom and Dad in my heart, and I promised Sadie I'd be the best big sister. That I'd protect her and keep her secrets and love her always.

I looked at her in that picture and I knew that we had never been more of a family than when she came into our lives. And now I was getting ready to celebrate my first wedding anniversary with all the people I loved. _At the end of the day / Lord, I pray / I have a life that's good._ I remembered the day we all sang that together for the first time – Dad, Mom, Daphne and me. It had felt like we were a family, even though that was before we officially were. The perfect song. I couldn't wait to teach it to Sadie.


	6. Deacon

Deacon

I was all alone in the house, sitting in my music room. It was for everyone, of course, but I spent more time in here than anyone else. Rayna had taken Daphne and Sadie out for a girls' afternoon and they were getting manicures and pedicures. Living in a house full of girls meant I knew more about that kind of thing now. I smiled to myself wondering what crazy color Sadie would pick. She usually came home from these adventures with something sparkly or pink. Or both.

I put down my guitar and sat back on the couch. I looked around the room at all the pictures of my girls. Some together, some separate. One of my favorites was a picture of Ray holding Sadie, right after she was born. And another one of her holding up the ultrasound picture when she was maybe four months pregnant, a huge smile on her face. We had all kinds of family pictures in here. So many variations of the girls, together and separate. Pictures of Rayna and me, and us with all our daughters. Wedding pictures – my wedding to Rayna and Maddie's to Jake. And then that picture of all of us in the waiting room at Maddie's wedding, none of us looking at the camera except Sadie, who was being her usual goofy self.

I got up and walked over to pick up the picture off the mantle. It was a great shot, although I still had moments of wanting to cut Teddy Conrad out of it. But I reminded myself we'd worked through all that and I needed to let it go. But that Sadie bug. I laughed to myself.

Sadie wasn't my favorite. I loved Maddie and Daphne the same as her. But Sadie was special, for a lot of reasons. I hadn't gotten to be with Rayna when she was pregnant with Maddie or gave birth to her. So being able to go through it all with Sadie had been special. We hadn't planned to have a baby. Never even talked about it. One morning Ray woke up sick as a dog and when she still felt bad three days later, she'd gone to the doctor. If anything, she looked even sicker when she came home and told me she was pregnant. At forty-three. We had both been a little shell-shocked. Just one little slip up, when we'd both gotten caught up in the moment.

But it had been an amazing time. Watching Sadie grow inside Ray, feeling her kicks and somersaults. Getting to be a part of all that from the start had been one of the best experiences of my life. And then Rayna was so incredibly sexy hot then. That didn't hurt. We had worried, of course, because Rayna was older, but Sadie was perfect. Somebody, I think it was Daphne, took some video of me holding Sadie right after she was born and I was crying like a baby. I was so happy she was here and that she was healthy, but I was also sad to have missed that with Maddie.

I put the picture down and wandered over to the windows that overlooked the pool. It had been about eight years since I'd found out Maddie was mine. She was thirteen, almost fourteen then. It had been a shock to her and to me. I'd been mad as hell at Rayna. I'd been sober for thirteen years, but that all went out the window that night. I tried not think about those four days. Four days when I was on pretty much a non-stop bender, when I lied to Coleman, when I avoided Rayna, when I came close to destroying everything in my whole life.

I closed my eyes and said the little prayer I said most every day, thanking God for not letting Rayna die in that accident. If she had, none of this would have been possible. I'm sure I would have lost Maddie forever. And I never would have finally married Ray and there never would have been Sadie. I felt a lump in my throat that I had to swallow hard over and tears pricked my eyes.

I shook my head to get rid of those morbid thoughts. Tried focusing on Maddie and her new husband. I wasn't sure that helped. I kind of hated thinking about my girl being married the way Ray and I were married. I didn't want to think about any of my girls doing the things their mama did to me. I didn't want to think about a man doing things to them that I did to their mama. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only daddy in the world that wanted to always think of his daughters as pure and untouched. But the reality was that I wanted all my daughters to be happy and loved, the way I loved their mama. Rayna Jaymes was the best thing that happened to me in my whole life and was so much more than I ever deserved, but I was so glad that I got to get in bed with her every night and talk to her every day and hold her in my arms pretty much whenever I wanted to. I hoped Maddie was as happy in her marriage as I was in mine.

I don't think I can honestly say I always wanted to be a husband and a dad. I think, like a lot of men, I did find a woman I wanted to be with and I didn't think much beyond that. I guess that instinctively I was afraid. I had the worst role models for marriage and family. Plus I had such a love affair with booze and pills that it was hard to focus on much else.

But I always wanted to be with Ray. She's my soul mate, my one true love. Even when she was married to Teddy or involved with Luke, even when I had other relationships, she was the one. We connected. We understood each other. Even in the very worst of times. I had always thought those times were the years I was a drunk, but after the accident was when it really got tested. Rayna told me that she had wanted to put me in a box and hide it on a shelf back then, that it was all too fragile.

But over time, I figured out what I wanted and what mattered. Learning how to be a dad to Maddie made me grow up in ways I hadn't thought possible. I had thought I'd learned to want those things before, watching Rayna be a wife and mama with someone else, but it wasn't until Maddie and I came together as a daddy and a daughter that I really knew I wanted that. And that I was ready for it. With Ray.

I don't like thinking about her with Luke, and all that went along with that, and so I don't. I just think about when she came to me and said she was ready. That she wanted all that with _me_ now, a life and a family. And so that's what we did.

One night not long ago, Scarlett was over at the house. She and I were in the music room working on a song and she said, just randomly, that I'd had a damn good life once I'd figured out that staying sober was for me and not for anyone else. She told me that I needed to hang on to that, because it had given me that good life I always said I wanted and had not been able to make happen before. She also said I should get down on my knees every night and thank God, or somebody, for giving me that life.

She was right. I was sober for thirteen years. I got sober for Rayna and I stayed sober for Rayna, for thirteen years. But when the truth came out about Maddie, I'd felt like I'd never known her at all, and that I'd done all that, for thirteen years, for nothing. And that was when it didn't seem like I'd stayed sober for any good reason. And so I quit.

But when I got sober again, I finally realized that I had to do it for myself. And if I could do it for myself, then I could get all those things I really wanted in my life. Because of that, I finally married the only woman I ever really loved, and I knew we'd be together for the rest of our days. I finally had the family I wanted – two daughters that came from my blood and one daughter that came from my heart. I got to work with my wife every day in her business and got to play and sing whenever I wanted and wherever I wanted.

Now I can't imagine not being Rayna's husband and not being Maddie, Daphne and Sadie's daddy. I have everything I ever could have imagined having.

Every day I was thankful I got to live this life and have all my girls in it.

Just then I heard the back door open, followed immediately afterward by running feet in flip flops. "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, where are you?" came Sadie's sing-song voice.

I smiled at the sound of my five and a half year-old and walked out of the music room. "Come find me, Sadie bug!" I called out, and waited.

More running flip flops and then she burst around the corner. She paused for a half second, a smile lighting up her face, and then she ran the rest of the way and jumped into my waiting arms. She threw her arms around my neck and kissed me full on the mouth. "Daddy, I'm back! Did you miss me?" she cried.

I smiled at her. "I thought I was going to die from missing you, bug," I said. Then she squirmed out of my arms and raced off, me following behind her to find her mama. _This is the best time of my life_, I thought. _Definitely a life that's good_.


	7. Rayna

Rayna

When I got home from my meeting at Sound Check, the house was empty. I had dropped Sadie off at kindergarten on the way to the meeting. Daphne was in school. Deacon's truck wasn't in the drive. He'd left me a note saying he was at a writers' meeting, then was going to an AA meeting, and would pick up Sadie on the way home. I pouted because I was hoping to find him at home for a little midday fun. I'd just have to save it for bedtime.

I wandered down to the music room, which was not only a great place to write and play music, but was a good place to just hang. When Deacon and I made the decision to move, space for a music room was number one on his list. Well, after a private master suite, of course. Space was at a premium in his East Nashville house, after the girls and I moved in, and a lot of his guitars and my piano had to go into storage. But I loved that house. After all, it had been _our_ house, mine and Deacon's, for five years before we broke up, and there were lots of memories there. It was definitely smaller than my Belle Meade house, but we all loved the coziness of it. It brought us closer together as a family. But when I got pregnant with Sadie, it was clear we needed a bigger house.

So in every house we looked at, Deacon looked for a room that would fill the music room need. This one had more than fit the bill. It had been a great space for us. Deacon was the one who used it the most so it was decorated to his taste. Comfortable, well broken-in leather couches and chairs, all his guitars, my baby grand, tables that were the perfect height to sit at to write or prop up your feet while playing the guitar.

And pictures. All my album covers, his album covers, his and my number ones, a beautiful family portrait done three years ago. Plus other family photos. There were probably more with Sadie in them or of her alone than any of the rest of us. Probably because she was still little.

I smiled as I thought about my youngest daughter. Like Daphne, she was another mini-me. She was rambunctious and always in motion. She was always singing, mostly little songs she made up, and she couldn't sit still. She was all girl and loved dressing in pretty, girly clothes. Her favorite outfit when she was four had been a lavender leotard, a pink tutu, pink ballet slippers and a tiara. Plus her wand that she used to tap people with, mostly Deacon, to have them do her bidding. Come to think of it, she still wore that tiara and used that wand. She was a joy and truly had pulled our family together.

Amy Grant had told me that would happen, back when I was seven months pregnant and miserable, both from being pregnant in the summer and having Daphne leave home and move in with Teddy. She told me Corinna, her daughter with Vince Gill, had been someone they could all love equally, with no baggage. And, to my relief, Sadie had been our Corinna. The day I came home from the hospital, Daphne had moved back in, and we have never been closer.

I remembered when Sadie came into our lives. She was a surprise. I still blame Deacon and his confidence that "it was just one night, we'll be fine". But it's a loving blame because I wouldn't trade my baby girl for anything.

Being pregnant at forty-three was no walk in the park. I felt more tired than I remembered feeling with Maddie and Daphne. Stuff hurt that hadn't hurt before and I was so much more uncomfortable. But Deacon had loved every minute of it and seeing his enthusiasm had been worth it all. He couldn't keep his hands off me, both in the romantic sense and the curious-at-all-my-changes sense. I felt loved and adored and that had helped when I had those "I'm huge" moments.

The only blemish, and it was a big one, was the lack of enthusiasm from Maddie and Daphne. For Maddie, it brought back some of the anger she felt at having missed all of that with Deacon and I got that. But Daphne's distance was harder to understand. And her request to live with Teddy for those last two and a half months had broken my heart.

But when I finally had Sadie in my arms and could smell her heavenly baby smell, it all felt like it would work out. And it did. Maddie and Daphne were crazy about their sister and it bonded all of us. Deacon was so over the moon for Sadie, but he also made sure he didn't leave Maddie or Daphne out. He had learned to be such a good father.

Deacon had put the picture from the brides' room at Maddie's wedding on the mantel. I couldn't help but smile. It was a great family candid shot with Sadie making her presence known in her own unique way.

I took the photo down and looked at it closely, taking in all the individual moments. Maddie looking so happy and beautiful in her wedding dress. Teddy standing with Daphne and his wife, Katharine. I was so happy for Teddy that he had found someone as extraordinary as Katharine. Deacon and me together. I ran my finger over Sadie's little face. She constantly entertained us all and had been the perfect addition to our little family. And I was grateful that Deacon was getting to experience everything he'd missed with Maddie.

I put that one down and looked at the one next to it of Maddie with Deacon and me, at her wedding. Maddie looked so happy but I could see the struggle in Deacon's eyes not to cry. Then I walked over to the piano and picked up a picture of Deacon and me on our wedding day. We both looked so happy.

I thought about building this life now with Deacon, something I'd wanted for such a long time, but had convinced myself would never happen. It still caught me by surprise, now and then, that we had been able to build this amazing life together, first with Maddie and Daphne, and then adding Sadie to the mix.

I had been sure, after the accident, that we were done, once and for all. Even though we had to learn to be parents together for Maddie, I had told him that he had disappointed me by getting drunk when he'd found out about Maddie. That somehow that particular history had never changed and that my resentment was so much bigger than his.

In the aftermath of my break up with Luke, I still wasn't sure Deacon was the answer. Luke had said so many horrible things about me and about Deacon that it had irrevocably destroyed any positive feelings I'd ever had about that relationship. I really needed some time to heal. My heart wanted Deacon but my head reminded me of all our history and so I kept him at arms' length, reminding myself that when it had counted he'd found his answer in the bottom of a whiskey bottle. But there still the matter of what the heart wanted.

It turned out to be Tandy, of all people, that cut through my indecision. She agreed that yes, Deacon had gone out and gotten drunk that night when I'd confirmed what Maddie had discovered. That yes, it was an unfortunately predictable response. But she reminded me that I had shattered his whole world that night. That I, the person he had the most faith in and that he trusted more than anyone, had done the unthinkable. That I had not been the one to tell him this news and help him through it. That for those four days, he had hated me for hurting him and humiliating him, devastating him. And that maybe I needed to cut him some slack.

So I went to him and told him I had been wrong and that I did have to accept some of the blame for what had happened. But that I wanted to build from there and create a life where we could love and trust each other again. I was finally ready to wear that ring again and be his wife.

He asked me to marry him and asked Maddie and Daphne to be our family and we all said yes.

I hugged the picture to my chest and smiled. I hoped Maddie and Jake would be as happy as Deacon and I were. Deacon had waited a long time for me and that felt a little bittersweet. I had loved him since I was sixteen, even when he hadn't made it easy. But I guess I saw something in him that kept me from really letting him go and the time that I _had_ believed I needed to sever our ties had been made impossible because he was Maddie's father.

I wanted nothing more for all my daughters than to love and be loved by someone who would treasure them. Even though I would have liked for Maddie to have more time before she'd committed her life to someone, she was right when she had reminded me that I had done just that when I was sixteen. Of course, my path had taken so many twists and turns before I had finally ended up with Deacon. I thought about Maddie and Jake, standing at the altar saying their vows, and I thought that she had had the wedding I'd thought I would have, when I was a little girl. But neither of mine had been like that.

When I'd married Teddy, it was in one of the parlors at the country club, wearing a loose dress that somewhat hid the fact that I was already pregnant. While I had felt such gratefulness to Teddy for rescuing me, and I did feel a kind of love for him, most of what I felt that day was sorrow. Sorrow that Deacon was, yet again, in rehab. That he could not give me what I truly wanted – a life and a marriage that would be filled with love, as we raised our family together. I learned to love Teddy over the years. Not the way I loved Deacon – I never felt my heart race when I saw Teddy or even when I thought of him – but a comfortable, safe, secure love. A love that nicely covered the yearning I had still felt for Deacon every single day.

When I married Deacon, we did it in his backyard, at the house we had lived in together for so many years. The house that enveloped me every time I walked into it and reminded me that this man was part of me, even when I didn't want him to be. I wore a jean skirt and flannel shirt that day, along with my favorite boots. I don't know if anyone but Deacon knew that the shirt was one of his. But it didn't feel like it had to be a formal affair, just another part of the life we would share for the rest of ours. It was filled with love and laughter and music, and I had never been happier in my life.

I was happy to give Maddie the lovely church wedding, with her in a beautiful white wedding dress. It had turned out that I realized it would never suit me to do that for myself. I felt sure that if I'd married Luke, we would have had some variation on that theme, and I knew it would have been all wrong, just like the marriage would have been.

I think I'd always known, though, that it would be Deacon in the end. When he showed up at my house that night and gave me back the ring, it was inevitable. I decided I didn't care what people would say if I broke up with Luke. I was scared, of course, but more because of my history with Deacon than because of any potential scandal. More than anything, though, I wanted to believe that with no more secrets, no more obstacles, we could finally make it work.

When I did break things off with Luke, there had been so much negative press over the fact that I had ended the "next great country music power couple", mostly fueled by Luke, I was sure. But just as quickly, they embraced the whole "star-crossed lovers" and "lifelong soul mates" angle of Deacon and me. Not that either of us pushed that; we would rather have just done things quietly, with no fanfare at all.

When I finally realized that the most utter and total peace I'd ever felt in my life was when I told Deacon that I loved him and wanted to be his wife, I knew I'd made the right choice. And I had. It had felt a lot like that night I'd abandoned Liam and St. Lucia and showed up on Deacon's door step. Only better, because this was for keeps.

Deacon and I were still passionate people, and we still disagreed and fought, but we never went to bed angry. And that sweet passion in bed never left us. He still turned me on whenever I even thought of him and I could see in his eyes that he felt the same.

I sat down on the couch and looked at the picture again, smiling at the love you could see in both our faces that day. I could feel him in this room and it made me wish again that he was at home. I wanted Maddie to have a love like this with Jake. And I wanted the same one day for Daphne and Sadie. Eventually I found myself curled up on the couch and then, apparently, I fell asleep.

* * *

"Mama!" came Sadie's sweet little voice, coached, I was sure, by her daddy to be soft. "Mama, wake up! I'm home!"

I opened my eyes and smiled. "My baby!" I said when I saw her.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not a baby," she declared, in her normal voice. "Get up!" she commanded.

I looked past her to see Deacon standing in the doorway, his eyebrows raised, an indulgent smile on his face. "But I'm taking a nap," I protested, looking back at Sadie.

She shook her head. "No. Daddy and I are home now and we need to _be_ with you."

I sat up. "Well, then, I can't think of anything I'd rather do." I took a last look at the wedding photo and put it back where it had been, then walked over to give Deacon a warm, lingering kiss, with the promise of more. Then we each took one of Sadie's hands and headed towards the kitchen.


	8. Sadie

Sadie

Today is my fifteenth birthday. Maddie and her family and Daphne are coming over later. I can't wait to see my nieces Daisy and Claire. I hope Daph brings her new boyfriend. He's so hot!

I really love my sisters. They're a lot older than me, but they always let me hang out with them. They still do. I'm sure I was a pain in the neck when I was little, but they always tell me that their favorite thing to do was hang out with me.

I looked at the clock. 8:45. Late for me to be getting up. I'm the only early bird in this family. Although my parents are probably awake, doing the nasty. Ewww. I can always tell, because Mama will be all giggly and she looks all dewy-eyed. And Daddy, well, Daddy just looks all proud of himself. And then he's all kissy face with Mama. Gah. Where's that mental floss when you need it?

By the time I was in school, it was really just Mama, Daddy and me. Which was actually kind of nice, truth be told. They spoiled me, really. I think it was because they were older when I came along and they spent all their energy messing around with each other instead of worrying about me. I enjoy having them all to myself, though. Most of my friends are annoyed by their parents, but even though mine are a couple of goofballs, I really love them and I love hanging out with them.

Mama was a major country music superstar back in the day, but she's retired from performing now. She still sings at the Grand Ole Opry every now and then. I told her that makes her one of the "Grand Old People of the Opry" now. When I say that she always frowns and swats my arm and says she's not old. These days she spends her time managing her label, Highway 65, which is a pretty big deal in Nashville music circles. Daddy still plays around town some. Mostly he writes songs, though, and helps Mama run her label. I'm following in my sisters' footsteps. Mama and Daddy's too, of course. People say that I'm the most talented, but I don't know about that. It's surely in my blood, but beyond that, I think everyone in my family is crazy talented.

I love listening to Mama's old albums. She has such a sweet voice. She and Daddy wrote a lot of songs together and I swear they're always the best ones on the album. When they sing at home, which is a lot, those are always my requests. I wondered about why Daddy didn't want to go out on his own and why he stayed in Mama's band all those years. He had a couple of albums, one when he was really young, and one from when he was older, before he and Mama got married. I asked him once why he didn't have his own career, because he has an awesome singing voice, but he said he was happy doing what he was doing. I asked Mama and she just got all weird looking and said it was complicated.

I know that "complicated" means drama. I've found a lot of information on my parents, stuff they won't tell me because I'm "not old enough", so I do know about "complicated". I think Daddy stayed in Mama's band because he still loved her, even though she was married to Uncle Teddy. I know Daddy's an alcoholic, although he's been sober forever. I know that they were in a car accident together and Mama almost died. And I know that Mama fell in love with him when she was only a year older than me and that she never really stopped. That last part she told me. I'm just glad they got over all that drama before I came along. Maddie and Daphne told me a lot of stuff too, things Mama and Daddy don't know they told me. Not that it matters. I love them anyway.

Maddie's still performing but mostly around town. She is a super song writer and has so many number ones for other people, I've lost count. She doesn't like touring, since her girls came along, so she doesn't. Good thing her husband Jake is still one of the biggest country stars on the planet. My nieces are amazing. Daisy's almost eight and Claire is four. Mama said that as hard as Maddie fought to be a performer, she was so surprised that she gave it up. But she's got an awesome life now.

I think Daisy's going to be the next generation star in our family. She loves to sing and perform and she's even learning to play the guitar. Every time she comes over, she and Daddy sit together and he shows her chords and stuff. Mama tells Maddie that she's going to see what it's like now, but Maddie just laughs and says it's okay with her.

Daphne sings in a group called Wild Cowboy – two guys, two girls. They've won all kinds of awards. Daph is the best harmonizer there is. And gorgeous too. She's like a mini-Mama and Mama is still hot. She's not ready to settle down, she says, but this new boyfriend has been around a while, longer than the others, so who knows?

It's kind of fun being a part of this musical family. Everybody says I'm the "whole package". I sing, I write, I play. I've been writing songs since I was ten, good ones since I was twelve. When Daddy invited me to play with him at The Bluebird Café when I was thirteen, Maddie told me her inner teenager was having a tantrum. Mama and Daddy, and Uncle Teddy, wouldn't let her do anything like that until she was out of high school. She pretended to be pissed, but she was right there at the Bluebird cheering me on, with the biggest smile on her face.

I was sort of surprised that Mama let me do that and she was actually extra weird about it, even for her. But I think Daddy convinced her. I've always been a daddy's girl. Some of that, I think, is because I'm the only one he's been with from the beginning. I love the pictures of him holding me when I was born. There's a video too and I tease him because he's crying like a baby.

After I made my debut at the Bluebird, there was a lot of talk about us being the "First Family of Country Music". I always love singing with my sisters and I loved to have my parents sing to me and get to sing along with them as I was growing up. But I'm not really sure that I want that. I mean, I kinda want to go to college and be a journalist, or something. I hope that if I decide not to be a performer, they won't be mad.

* * *

I know that Maddie was Uncle Teddy's daughter until she was thirteen and then found out that Daddy was really her dad too. I don't really understand how it all happened, but everyone seems to be okay with it now, so I don't think about it much. Except that I feel bad sometimes for Maddie that she didn't grow up with Daddy, like I did. Because he's the best dad ever.

Okay, now I'm gonna tear up and I can't, because it's my birthday. I sit up a little in my bed because I can hear all this low talking out in the hall. And Mama's giggling. God, those two!

My door burst open. "Happy birthday, Sadie Faith!" Mama cries out, hurrying in to hug me, a huge smile on her face. I hug her back. She pulls back and looks in my face. "My baby. Fifteen years old already," she murmurs. I smile back at her. Mama is still so gorgeous. She still has that beautiful reddish-blonde hair she's always had, although she told me she does have to color over the little bit of gray that's there now. I always wished I'd gotten her hair color.

I pull away from her and swing my legs off the bed so I can get up. Daddy grabs me up in a big hug. He's so handsome, with his scruffy face and his hair kind of hanging over his forehead a little. "Happy birthday, sweetheart," he whispers in my ear. When he lets me go, I look up at him and he has tears in his eyes, like he does every year.

"Quit crying, Daddy," I scolded. "There's no crying on birthdays."

He smiled and then laughed. Mama stood up and he put his arms around her. "Thank you for Sadie bug," he said to her. _Please stop_, I thought. He looked back at me. "Birthday pancakes? Or are you too old for that?"

I shook my head and grinned at him. "I'm never too old for my daddy to make me pancakes on my birthday," I told him and he beamed. As he turned and walked out of my bedroom to the kitchen, I made a promise to myself that, even if one day I didn't like pancakes anymore, I would always let him make them for me on my birthday.

* * *

That afternoon, I wandered into the den and pulled out my baby album. I did this every year. It always made me laugh, because Mama was the worst at technology. Actually Daddy was even worse than her, so I guess she wasn't really the worst. But that meant she had old fashioned pictures. I had to admit, though, there was something kind of sweet about a hard bound baby album that I could look at without sitting in front of a computer.

Even though I'd looked at the album a ridiculous number of times, I never got tired of it. The very first picture was a picture of Mama with the ultrasound picture of me. She was grinning like a fool. She told me once it was because the doctor told her I was a girl and that made her happy. Then there were several pictures of Mama, captioned "4 months" through "9 months", where she was standing in profile, so that you could see her belly grow. She always had a big smile on her face. The very last one was always my favorite. She was wearing her hair up in a bun, with tendrils of hair framing her face. She told me that she had her hands clasped under her stomach, because I couldn't quite tell just _what_ she was doing with the hand I could see. Her face was scrunched up in a cute smile. I was born less than 12 hours later, three weeks early. She had confided in me that she was already in early labor when Daddy took the picture, but she hadn't told him because she didn't want to freak him out.

There were a few pictures of Mama and Daddy together when she was pregnant. In one, Daddy was standing behind her, with his arms wrapped around her and she was leaning back into him. I told him he looked like a goofball in the picture because he had this silly grin on his face. He got all misty-eyed and told me that it was the best time of his life and that made me feel all teary too. There were a bunch of pictures when I was born, with Mama, with Daddy, and with Maddie and Daphne.

Mama walked in and, when she saw what I was doing, came over and sat by me, putting her arm around me. I moved a little so that I could lean my head on her shoulder. "You were such a pretty baby, Sadie," she said. "And a pretty young lady."

"Tell me about the day I was born," I said.

"Haven't you heard that a million times?" Mama asked.

"I'm only fifteen. It can't be that many."

Mama squeezed me. "Okay, one more time then." She flipped the pages of the book to the picture of her holding me in the hospital. "So, as you know, you were three weeks early. Which was a very good thing, because it was summertime and it was very hot and being pregnant in the summer is not fun."

I twisted my head back to look up at her. "So I was a good baby right from the start," I teased with a smile.

She smiled back and kissed me on my forehead. "You were. So, anyway, I woke up that morning with a horrible backache and not too much later, I started having contractions."

"But you didn't tell Daddy, right?"

She raised her eyebrows. "If you know the whole story, why am I telling you?" She smirked.

"Carry on," I said, with a wave of my hand. About this time, Daddy walked into the room and sat down on the other side of me. He and Mama smiled those lovey-dovey smiles they like to do at each other. "Story, please," I said. Gah. There's time for that later. Much later.

Mama laughed. "Anyway, I knew it would be a while, so I just waited. Since it was three weeks before your due date, I wasn't sure at first if they were real or not, but I wasn't done with your nursery, so I decided to work on that."

Daddy sighed dramatically. "Yeah, your mama made me help her with all this stuff to get ready and the whole time, you're fixing to come."

"Well, I wasn't completely sure," Mama countered.

"She hid it from me," Daddy said, but his voice was teasing.

"Yes, I did, because I knew you'd panic and want to go right over to the hospital. And then all we would have done was wait. So, anyway. Sometime late in the afternoon was when I knew it was time to go to the hospital and that's when I told your daddy and he _did_ panic."

Daddy gasped dramatically. I loved how they told the story. "You could have had Sadie in the truck," he exclaimed. He looked at me. "We barely got in the delivery room before you were born."

Mama shook her head, but she was smiling. "That's not true. It was still at least another hour and a half before you were born. Long enough to call your sisters so they were there before you were." She flipped another couple of pages to pictures of Maddie and Daphne holding me. "They fought over who was going to hold you first and who was going to hold you the longest and who you were going to be closer to. It was kind of hilarious. I think I got to hold you for about five minutes before your daddy snatched you away from me." She looked at Daddy then. "And then I couldn't get you back from your sisters. I didn't think I was _ever_ going to get my baby back."

I laughed. "When did you?"

Mama got this indignant look on her face. "I think when everybody went home for the night. Which was ridiculous." Then she shrugged. "But then it was just the three of us." She gave Daddy that moony smile again. "I was so happy."

I looked at Daddy and his eyes were all teary again. "Don't," I warned.

He leaned down and kissed me. "It's hard, bug. It was a big day for me."

I took a deep breath. "Well, if everyone is going to be all weepy about it, we can stop." Just then, I saw a loose picture sticking out of the back. I pulled it out and saw that it was a copy of that picture from Maddie's wedding where I was looking like a goofball for the camera. "Mama," I whined. "Why is this in here?"

Mama took it from me and grinned. "I _love_ this picture! You look so cute here."

I rolled my eyes. "I look like a goofball."

Daddy laughed. "Yes, but you're _our_ goofball. And we love you very much."

And then they did what they used to do a lot when I was a little girl, something they still always did on my birthday. Together they leaned in and each one kissed me on one cheek and then they nuzzled me with their noses. And we all laughed together.

I totally love these crazy people.


End file.
